


neptune (us, lonely planets)

by itoldyounottoeatthesoap



Series: floating among the stars [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon-Typical Violence, Five Stages of Grief, Gay Keith (Voltron), Just angst, M/M, Mentions of Galtean Lance and Keith, Mutual Pining, No confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Unresolved Emotional Tension, birthday fic, both of them are oblivious, future scene where keith and lance have kids, just read the tag (major character death), mcdonalds tag, mentions of Akira/Leandro, no beta we die like men, theres one scene with Alfor in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:07:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28219692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itoldyounottoeatthesoap/pseuds/itoldyounottoeatthesoap
Summary: Some people are lucky enough to meet the right person at the right time. Some people are drawn together with an invisible string. Some people have love stories like tragedies.In some realties, Keith and Lance, despite all difficulties, fall for each other at the right times. This is not one of those realities.
Relationships: Allura & Keith (Voltron), Hunk & Keith (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: floating among the stars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067264
Comments: 9
Kudos: 27





	neptune (us, lonely planets)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spartona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spartona/gifts).



> hey! this is a fic for my lovely platonic soulmate, avery! youre the best thank you for putting up with my early morning ramblings and info dumps! ilysm!
> 
> happy birthday, bby, you deserve it!
> 
> (if you really want this fic to hit hard, listen to neptune by sleeping at last while reading :))

Keith could count on one hand how many people he’s loved in his life. 

Three fingers to be exact.

He loved his dad. He loved him in the way that the Earth was always orbiting around the sun. Constant. Undebatable fact. It was never fluctuating, never changing. 

After his dad died, Keith realized that love ends in pain. That everything ends. Just how stars meet the end, ending in supernovas or black holes. Each destroying what was left behind.

He met Shiro, long after his dad had died, long after Keith had decided it was better not to love. But he couldn’t stop himself from loving Shiro. He loved Shiro the way he loved the stars. With awe and wonder. Like something he could never touch, something he could only hope to reach. He loved him as if he didn’t have a choice but to love him. Like it was always meant for Shiro to find him and save him. 

Keith had loved him more than platonically, once. But he realized, later, after seeing the calm nights Shiro would spend with Adam, that this love was rooted in desperation to be accepted. He realized that love could come in all forms.

Then Shiro left. Disappeared without a trace. Left him reeling in this aftermath, left him drifting among the stars with nowhere to go. He realized then that love is distracting, it’s only goal to make you forget the end. 

Keith was determined not to forget again. 

His plans are shattered, stomped on, thrown out the window, set on fire, by this loud, obnoxious, funny, gorgeous boy from Cuba. He slammed into his life like a wrecking ball and Keith has been unable to get him out of his mind since. 

He loves Lance unlike how he’s ever loved anything in his life. He loves him how Icarus loved the sun, drawing them in closer despite the knowledge that they will burn. He loves Lance the same way a bird longs to fly again after being in a cage. 

He never knew he could feel this way. It was so unlike the way he loved Shiro, where Keith had gotten butterflies and sweaty palms and his heart would race. Instead, Keith feels like he could conquer the world with Lance at his side. Like nothing could ever go wrong.

Keith loves the way Lance sets his heart on fire with one touch, only to put it out with a gentle look. 

Lance is the cool breeze on a hot summer’s day, the night of rain after a long dry spell, fresh air after holding your breath for a long time. He’s an early sunrise, the rock of waves against a boat, the strike of lightning in the sky. He brings life and laughter everywhere he goes, Keith doesn’t think he’s seen a sad room with Lance in it.

Lance makes him forget his aversion to love, makes him forget how to breathe and reminds him to live at the same time. 

Despite everything, Lance helps him learn how to feel again.

But a boy like that could never love someone like him. 

Keith forgets that a love like this only ends in tragedy. 

~~

It all starts with a stupid conversation. 

“Mullet!” Lances calls, Pidge in hand. Keith looks up from the holopad as Lance stops, and moves Pidge until they’re standing by his side. “Tell Pidge that Godzilla could totally beat King Kong in a fight!”

Keith blinks. “Who?”

“Mullet! How do you not know King Kong or Godizilla?”

“... Is King Kong the big monkey?”

Lance flaps his arms around. “And Godzilla is a giant dinosaur lizard. You can’t tell me that Godzilla wouldn’t rip off Kongy’s head off-”

" _Kongy?_ "

“Lance, it’s a giant ape. Do you know how strong they are? King Kong probably has the wingspan of Godzilla’s entire  _ body _ and you’re telling me that Godzilla could rip his head off?” Pidge splutters.

He takes one look at Lance, who has now crossed his arms, his face pulled into a playful frown. “Pidge, I’m gonna have to go with Godzilla, sorry, but a lizard is more superior than a monkey.”

Keith watches the way Lance’s face lights up in victory, his mouth turning into a smirk.

Keith would love to kiss that smirk off his face.

Keith’s entire brain stops moving, he can feel the moment the gears screech to a stop.

_ What the fuck? _

He blinks as Pidge shakes her head. “You two are both idiots. There’s are reason evolution-”

Lance is rolling his eyes, moving his hand in the talking motion before Pidge smacks him on the shoulder. He lets out the  ~~ cutest ~~ yelp before squawking. 

“Pidgey,” he coos, “Even Hunk isn’t with you on this one.” 

Keith doesn’t know where to look, what to say. It’s like someone else is named Keith and in his body and all he can do is watch. 

His eyes return to Lance no matter when he drags them away to. 

Keith is so, so, so utterly screwed. 

Pidge lets out a huff and stomps out of the room and Lance turns to him with his blue, blue eyes the color of the deep expanse of the ocean.

Keith feels like he’s a sailor, he would risk his life just to be among the waves. 

Lance saunters over to him, dropping onto the couch next to him. He peeks over to look at the holopad to Keith’s right. 

Keith can feel the body heat radiating off of him. 

Lance is close enough that Keith can almost smell the scent of Lance’s shampoo - a new Altean brand that Allura had laying around that smells suspiciously like the ocean - and Keith just wants to run his hands through Lance’s soft locks. 

“Whatcha doin?”

Keith’s brain is still dealing with the aftermath of his realization. It’s like cleaning up after a fire or earthquake, everything is utterly ruined and destroyed and there is no sense of order.

Keith did not plan for this. 

Keith wants to know where these feelings came from and if there is an option to return them.

“Aye, Mullet? You good there?” 

Keith whips his head toward Lance.

They’re so close that Keith could lean forward to kiss him.

He doesn’t.

Keith clears his throat. “Sorry, um, just got distracted.”

“Still thinking about how Godzilla is clearly the superior monster?” 

Keith gives him a tight lipped smile, ignoring the way his own eyes drift across Lance’s face, making constellations out of his freckles. 

“Yea, you could say that.”

~~

It’s later, when Keith is lying in bed where he goes over his entire life story, wondering how, out of all people, he developed a crush on Lance McClain. 

He wants to know why he’s doing this to himself again, why he’s going to put himself through the agony of another heartbreak.

Keith ignores the way his heart twists when he thinks of Lance. 

He flips through his memories like a picture book, until he reaches the page he was looking for. 

The memory in mind stars a loud boy with brown hair and eyes like the deep blue expanse of space. 

Keith remembered him from the Garrison. He remembered his loud laughs that took the whole room, the fire in his eyes, he demanded attention and wouldn’t take anything less. He remembered how fierce the fire would be once Lance’s gaze turned to his. It was like Lance wanted him to burn before he got a step closer.

Keith is unsure when his hatred turned to jealousy, and his jealousy turned into love. 

Keith was a prodigy, they’d say. Without any formal training? He had a future ahead of him. With more experience? He’d be the perfect pilot in no time. 

What they didn’t know was that Keith was only experienced in being lonely. 

All Keith wanted was a family like Lance’s, with people to miss him like that.

Keith knows now that a family like that isn’t always a blessing. He knows how badly Lance is hurting, and he likes to pretend that he can’t imagine the way they must be feeling.

But he can. He knows how they’re feeling like the back of his own hand.

He knows how lost they must feel. 

Keith is thrown into the memory of Shiro, how he found him. He watches and relives the moment he saw Shiro strapped to the table, others around him like he was a fucking specimen, another thing to be dissected and studied. 

He remembers Lance bursting through that door with Hunk and Pidge in tow - he always was a leader, wasn’t he? He hears those words leave his mouth.

_ Nope, nope. No, no, no, no, no you don’t- I’m the one saving Shiro.  _

Keith wouldn’t remember him until later, stuck with the odd feeling of deja vu. He would realize, when they were at the shack, that the reason he recognized his eyes was because he remembered them from months of watching him practice on the simulators late at night, his own hands itching to tweak the steering to the left or the right.

He never did go and help.

Of course Keith remembered Lance, how could he forget the way his crew formed around him? Keith may have been the better pilot, but he would go nowhere if he couldn’t get his crew to trust him.

He’s been told that more than once. 

Keith runs through his memories like he’s watching a movie. 

He rewatches as the strange markings on the wall light Lance’s face up, making Lance glow a gorgeous blue. How everything, in that moment, felt  _ right _ . Like a final piece of the puzzle clicking into place after months of looking for the last piece.

He’s in the lion now, after Lance had pulled his little stunt of  _ knocking _ . He watches as Lance takes the controls, yet again, leading them to a wormhole, then to castle, without breaking a sweat. 

As he watches Allura fall into Lance’s arms, again, Keith feels the same inexplicable anger.

Actually, now that Keith thinks about it more, it’s less inexplicable now. 

He goes through the training exercises, how their rivalry turned into friendly competition, and that turned into something more. 

He remembers the bonding moment with astounding clarity. 

He remembers the helplessness he felt at the thought of Shiro and Lance trapped in the Castle. 

He remembers the fear of the realization that he could lose yet another person.

It still terrifies him. 

He remembers the way Lance looked at him after that. The way Lance looked at him, like he was everything and  _ more _ . 

_ We are a good team.  _

Lance cracked his walls in two days. 

It took Shiro  _ months _ .

But Keith shuts down again after Lance comes out of the pod, swaying and asking Allura on a date. At that point, Keith had recognized his jealousy. Why couldn’t Lance remember- was Keith not good enough?

_ Nope, don’t remember, didn’t happen _ . 

Those words still echo in his head. 

He connects the strings of their relationships together like evidence on a corkboard and red string on the ceiling of his room. 

By the time morning - or as much of a morning you can get in the middle of space - rolls around, Keith is still awake staring at the ceiling. 

~~

Keith lets his head fall back onto the headrest of Red’s pilot chair. His chest is heaving and he lets a smile grow on his face at the sound of his teammates’ cheers.

Well, he’s only really smiling at one voice. 

It’s a voice he could pick out in his sleep now.

He wishes they were on video call so Keith could see the way Lance’s face is lit up and animated. 

He likes watching Lance after battles like this, it reminds him how alive they both are. 

It’s mesmerizing watching him interact with the team, he does it so effortlessly, so easily it’s like he was born for it. 

“Come on, team, let’s head back,” Shiro says, but Keith can hear the pride and happiness in his voice. 

By the time Keith exits his lion and heads down the ramp, Lance is already leaning on Blue’s paw talking animatedly to Hunk on his left. 

Lance has his helmet on the floor next to him and Pidge moves it to the side to sit on Blue’s paw with them. He can see the way Pidge’s eyebrows shoot up and the way Lance throws an arm over his face, tilting his head back against Blue. He watches Hunks face break out into a smile as Lance pushes him away, his face bright red.

Before Keith is close enough to hear what they’re saying, Shiro calls them over. “Great job today, team! Let’s gather to debrief with Allura and Coran while it’s fresh.”

Keith trails after Shiro, only hesitating for a moment at the doorway to look back at the trio. 

Lance has his face buried in his hands while Pidge is cackling next to Hunk who gives them a disappointed mom shake. Keith smiles slightly before heading into the briefing room. 

Shiro’s already sitting on the couch next to Allura, who has a small hologram up already. Shiro gives him a small wave before returning to his conversation with Allura.

“We fought along this canyon, and the Robeast had a new weapon-”

“ _ Kei-th _ ,” Pidge sing-songs as the doors open. 

“ _Pidge!_ ” Lance shouts as he reaches for them. His face is panicked as Pidge bolts away and hops the couch. “I swear to all hell and earth, _te haré arrepentirte de vivir_ -”

“Lance, don’t beat Pidge up,  _ please _ . I have enough gray hairs at the moment.”

Lance scowls at Pidge, who sticks their tongue out. He sits on the couch farthest from Pidge, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest. 

Keith stiffens as the couch next to him dips with Lance’s body weight.

They’re so close, Keith can feel the fabric of their jackets brushing together. 

They’re close enough Keith could throw an arm around Lance’s shoulders. 

But Keith doesn’t.

He knows better than to do that.

So he suffers through the debriefing, made aware of every shift, every movement that comes from his right side. 

He smells Lance’s shampoo again, this time it’s the ocean mixed with sweat and salt, and Keith can’t bring himself to be disgusted by that fact.

He ignores the suspicious glances given to him by Shiro every time he pauses to talk.

He ignores the way his skin feels like it’s on fire every time Lance almost touches him. 

He would gladly let Lance burn him alive if it meant Lance would touch him everyday.

He would let Lance burn the wax off his wings if it meant he could get one step closer to being loved by Lance. 

Keith knows his face is burning. Keith also knows he’s in for goddamn interrogation after this. 

(What Keith misses is Lance’s own burning face, and small wiggles to get closer. He misses the odd glances Hunk sends Lance’s way and the teasing looks given to Lance by Pidge.)

Allura claps her hands together. “Oh, I am so excited for you to meet the Lorvasns! They have the best celebrations.”

Keith blinks. “Cel- celebrations?”

“They have been dying to meet the people who save their planet. Oh, the food- We must dress you up, I’m sure we have Father’s leftover clothes still stored in the castle. This will be so fun, paladins, last time I went it was for a peace celebration. Father took me to watch these gorgeous explosions in the sky.”

“Do you mean fireworks, Princess?” 

Allura gives Pidge a confused look. “What are  _ fireworks _ ?”

“Fireworks are these huge-”

Lance waves his hand. “Nevermind that, we’re having a _ celebration _ .” He tugs at Hunk’s arm. “Come on, Hunk, we have to get ready.”

Keith watches as Lance drags Hunk out of the room while Pidge snorts. 

“Coran will leave the formal attire by your doors!” Allura calls after them. She stands and straightens her dress. “I guess I must be getting ready myself. Pidge, care to accompany me?”

“Of course, Princess.” Pidge takes her outstretched arm before giving Keith a teasing look.

As the doors close behind them, Keith feels the weight of Shiro’s gaze turn to him. 

“So,” Shiro starts slowly. “Anything going on?”

Keith buries his face into his hands and wishes all of the Gods would strike him down right here and now to save him from the awkward crush talk. 

“No,” Keith snaps with no real heat. He peaks at Shiro between his fingers. 

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “You seem awfully embarrassed for nothing to be going on.”

Keith lets his hands fall from his face with a loud sigh. 

“Does this have something to do with Lance?”

Keith sits up straight, giving Shiro a wide-eyed look. He winces. “Is it that obvious?”

Shiro shakes his head. He holds a soft smile on his face and Keith really wants to smack him.

“Keith, buddy, I think the only person who doesn’t know is Lance.” Shiro pats Keith on the back. “You’ll be fine.” 

“What do I do?” Keith’s voice is quiet. “I can’t lose him.”  _ Too. _

“You won’t, Keith, I promise. But take your time. Whenever you’re ready.” Shiro stands and grabs Keith’s hand. “We’ve got a boy to impress, don’t we?”

~~

Keith fiddles with the cuffs of his Altean dress shirt. He looks at himself in the mirror and scowls at the way his hair falls. 

“Are you sure about this, Shiro?”

He looks down at himself, dressed in black pants lined with gold, paired with a deep maroon long sleeve, turtleneck-like shirt under a black vest. The maroon matches the floor long cape adorned on his shoulders, which are padded with long plates of gold. On the back of the cape,the Voltron symbol is emblazoned in white.

Keith shoves his feet into his boots before heading back into his room where Shiro waits for him. 

Shiro wears a similar outfit, instead wearing entirely black, his shirt only a few shades off of black, while his cape matches the deepest black. He’s already done his eyeliner - Keith has no idea how he’d managed to find it in space - and is adding gold glitter, provided to them by Allura, to his eyes.

He turns to look at Keith. A sinister smile grows on his face. “I think you need just one more touch-”

Keith’s eyes narrow before catching sight of the container of gold in Shiro’s hand. “I swear to everything you love, Shiro, I will murder Samantha while you sleep.”

Shiro stops approaching. Keith can see a look of panic cross his face at the thought of someone hurting an American Girl doll he found in the space mall. His face turns to a pout. “ _ You wouldn’t dare hurt Samantha. _ Just a little bit? Please, Keith?”

Keith lets out a long sigh. “Fine. Not a lot.”

Shiro places some glitter along his cheekbones. “There, that’s it. You happy?”

Keith rolls his eyes and wrinkles his nose. “I might stab Samantha with my knife anyway.”

Shiro gives him a betrayed look. “Don’t make me go after Jorge.”

Keith gives him a withering look before leaving Shiro to do the rest of his eye make-up.

He heads down to the hanger, where Red had been decorated in long, golden tiger-like stripes. He can feel her purring in the back of his mind. 

He’s the first one in, as always. 

Hunk comes in, not long after. Keith guesses they all have similar outfits, as Hunk’s is composed of essentially the same pieces. His outfit looks more armor based, tougher and thicker in some parts. Hunk’s dark hair is dusted in the same gold that Shiro forced on his face. Even Hunk’s bandana has gold added to it. 

Hunk gives Keith a thumbs up. “Lookin’ good, man.” There’s only a small pause before Hunk launches into giving Keith the food run down. “I heard they have some of the most creative dishes- if you find stuff you like, tell me- Do you think I could hangout in the kitchen?”

Pidge and Allura enter next, chatting with each other, pausing when they catch sight of him. Pidge cups a hand around Allura’s ear, glancing at him occasionally. He watches as Allura’s eyebrows gradually raise before a smile breaks out on her face before she whispers back. 

Both Pidge and Allura have their own capes. Pidge’s matches their green pant suit, golden detailing following up the sides of the pant legs. They have long, mesh sleeves with plant-like patterns in the material. Allura’s dressed in a long gown in light purple, golden plated in the pattern of feathers as her sleeves. 

Hunk and him wave, and Shiro comes trailing after them. 

Coran’s the next one in, with a bright baby blue outfit, adorned with only a light gray jacket. He twists his mustache. “Where is Number Three?”

The door opens. 

“ _ Shiro _ .” Lance storms into the hanger. “Did you steal my fucking eyeliner again?”

“...No?”

Keith can’t even bring himself to be concerned about where Lance’s eyeliner went because, damn, does Lance look good. His hair is artfully tousled. His neck is touched with the golden glitter. His deep, deep blue turtleneck brings out his eyes. His green army jacket has been exchanged for something longer and lighter that flows into his cape seamlessly. His cape is decorated in gold and blue, and Keith has never liked those colors more. 

Lance looks fit to rule among the Gods. 

Lance rolls his eyes and snorts. “Shiro, I can see the eyeliner on your face.” Lance shakes his head gently. “It’s fine.”

He scans all of them, eyes catching on something in the center of the group before moving on. Even from where Keith is standing, he can see the growing blush on his face.

Red is pretty on Lance too. 

Pidge elbows him in the stomach with an obnoxious grin.

Keith gives her a withering glare. 

Out of nowhere, Lance whips out a small camera he bought from the space mall. “We’ve gotta take a picture of this. Please, ‘Lura?”

Allura gives him a fond nod, and everyone groups together while Lance sets up the timer on the camera. 

“Say, Voltron!”

“Voltron!”

The picture prints out, and Lance waits for it to start developing before he puts it in his pocket.

Lance bends at the waist and offers a hand to Allura. “Would you like to ride with me, m’lady?”

Keith feels that stupid flare of jealousy, it burns in his chest. He knows that Allura only considers Lance a friend, but Keith still wants to be in her position. 

He wants Lance at his side, in his Lion, wherever Lance would have him. He wants the easy going smiles, the morning voice after waking up, the warm late nights.

He just wants that soft, loving gaze turned to him for once. 

He would take anything Lance would give him. 

Even if it meant Lance wants Keith to stay away. 

~~

When they land on Lorion, there’s a large crowd gathered, waiting for them. They hold a type of plant, a strange golden flower, and golden petals lay all over the ground. 

The setting suns add a golden cast upon the land. The petals glimmer, like they’re beckoning them inside.

Lance is the first to join him on the ground. 

Keith would love to have him in this moment forever. 

His eyes are full of awe, the gold shimmering in his blue eyes. 

Lance feels so openly, so beautifully, like he’s never afraid of falling. Like he’ll always have air beneath his wings if you’re next to him. 

Keith hopes he can fly next to him forever. 

They’re greeted by an alien with green skin, in their own type of robe, white decorated with lace.

As Allura introduces them, Lance nudges Keith’s side and whispers in his ear. “They kinda look like Yoda, don’t they?”

Keith blinks and scans the priest in front of him. Green skin, check. Ears, check. Wispy and slightly white looking hair, also check. Keith nudges Lance back and hisses, “I hate you so much right now.”

The smile Lance gives him is worth any (forbidden) knowledge of Yoda. 

They follow Allura into what Keith assumes is their version of a church. 

The walls are decorated with soft yellow gold lining the scaffolding of the ceiling. There are pictures painted onto walls in bright colors. 

It’s beautiful. 

He catches a little bit of Pidge’s hushed conversation with Hunk. “How do you think they got those to stay? It’s like, mathematically implausible that something that weight could be held by something that thin-”

Their quiet conversations stop almost immediately as they see the large throne in the center of the room. 

The alien in the center of the chair raises a large device to his mouth. 

“Paladins of Voltron, our holy saviors, welcome to our planet. We wish to bestow upon you one of the highest honors you can achieve, honorary member of the holy council.” In response, an alien in a deep gold raises a pillow pile with wreaths. “Thank you for saving Lorion, Paladins. We hope that you may live your lives with honor and harmony. May love restore your souls.”

The alien goes down the line, placing the woven golden crowns on top of their heads. Lance dips his head to make it easier for them to place it. 

_ It goes nicely with his hair _ , Keith muses. The gold brings out the light undertones. 

He feels the crown being placed on top of his own head. 

There are sparkles in Lance’s eyes when he looks at him. 

Keith hopes Lance will always look at him like this. 

But he knows, deep down, that it could never be.

Allura’s the next to speak, making her typical speech about how honored they are to have the Lorvasns as allies before allowing them to celebrate. 

~~

Sometime after a few drinks are consumed -  _ sh _ , don’t tell Shiro - Keith finds himself watching the dance floor. 

Out of the many dancers, his eyes are drawn to Lance. 

He shouldn’t be surprised, really, that his gaze always returns to him. 

His heart will always return to him, too. 

He rests his weight on the railing as his eyes track Lance’s movements on the dancefloor, and god, does he wish that he were the one dancing with Lance. 

He hears footsteps shuffling toward him and Keith turns his head to look at Hunk. 

The glitter from Hunk’s hair and bandana has fallen onto Hunk’s forehead. Hunk holds a thousand yard stare at the dancefloor. 

Keith returns his focus to Lance, who has changed to a new partner. He’s smiling and Keith longs to be the one down there who he’s smiling at. 

“It’s nice to see him happy,” Hunk says. Keith turns his head to look at Hunk again. He holds a sad expression on his face. Keith glances from Lance to Hunk. Hunk lowers his head as if he’s going to tell Keith a secret. “You know what would make him happier?” Keith stares blankly at him. “If you went down there and danced with him.”

Keith scoffs. “Like he wants me down there. He seems perfectly fine without me.”

“Trust me, man. He would love it if you were down there.”

“I think I’d just ruin his night, Hunk. He doesn’t need  _ me  _ to be happy.” Hunk gives him a strange look. “He’s just, better off without me. He was better without me at the Garrison, I don’t know why he wouldn’t be better off without me in space too.”

Hunk shakes his head. “You know that’s not true.” Keith scowls. “Just try it, Keith. That’s all I can say.” He pauses for a moment before tacking on, “Don’t forget to try the food!”

He hears Hunk’s footsteps walk away, and Keith goes back to watching the dancers.

There’s no way a boy like Lance could ever love him. A boy who holds the stars in his eyes and hands out happiness like he always has extra. 

Keith has to tear his eyes away from Lance.

(He misses the longing glances Lance sends his way when he’s not looking.)

~~

At some point in the party, Keith finds himself wandering onto the dancefloor. 

He does take Hunk’s advice after all, his courage gathered with a small amount of alcohol and some food. 

The food is good, by the way. 

He’s looking for Lance, trying to find that mop of brown hair among the crowd. 

It’s easy to spot him, dancing with another alien, who holds him like they don’t want to let go. 

Keith wants to be the one to hold him like that, wants to be the one he looks at.

Keith finds himself marching up to Lance, not very politely offering his hand for a dance.

Lance glances between him and the alien before saying a soft apology and taking his hand. 

“Wanted a dance, Mullet?”

Keith hums. “You could say that.”

Keith regrets the alcohol decision. 

Lance takes one look at Keith’s clumsy feet and leads them into a soft waltzing pattern, a 1 2 3, 1 2 3.

Now, Keith on his best days is a sucky dancer. His gracefulness on the battlefield does not translate into the ballroom. 

So he tries to follow the rhythm of Lance’s feet, the steps matching the time of the music. 

“Wow, can’t believe I’m better than you at something.”

Keith scowls. “Surprise, surprise.”

“Hey- I gotta take my wins when I can get them. It’s not often this happens.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “You’re better than me at a lot of things, Lance.”

Lance scoffs, leading them into another dance as the music changes. “Really? Name one outside of dancing.”

“You’re good with people, you’re smart and talented-” Keith stops himself. 

Lance is better than Keith at loving, better at feeling. 

Keith wishes Lance could show him how to love and how to feel.

_ I think you’ve already shown me how.  _

Oh, there’s so much he wishes he could tell him.

“See, you can’t even think of more than two. And those aren’t useful, Keith. Name one thing I’m good at that’s useful,” Lance says as he spins Keith around.

“Better at shooting, better at leading, Lance-” 

Lance rolls his eyes. “One thing, Keith, one thing where I can actually be helpful. I’ve always been average at everything, no need to lie to me.”

Keith wants to list off everything he’s noticed through months of being in love. Lance is so far from average.

There are so many things Keith could show him.

The words are on the tip of Keith’s tongue. 

But it’s as if they were super glued, tied to the back of his throat. He chokes on his next breath.

Keith wants to tell Lance he loves him, but he’s never been taught how to say the words without it hurting.

Hopefully Lance can teach him when Keith deserves it. 

Lance continues to ramble, but Keith can’t hear him through the pounding of blood in his ears. 

They’re close now, so much closer than they were on the couch months ago. 

Keith is inches away. 

Keith wants to run his fingers through Lance’s hair and pull him even closer. 

“Have you even been listening to me?” Lance’s voice breaks through. Lance pulls away sharply. Keith can see hurt and anger flash through his eyes.

It’s unsettling to see it directed at him again. 

Lance hasn’t looked at him like that in a long time.

“No need to listen to Lance, I guess, since he seems perfectly fine- I thought you were listening. Got bored of me too?” Lance turns and storms away, and Keith is powerless to stop him. 

_ Maybe Lance does hate him _ . 

~~

He tries to wait for Lance, see if he comes back, but eventually Keith goes outside.

He wants to watch the stars. 

“Hey, Mullet,” Lance says from behind him. His voice is raspy and Keith wants to ignore him but wants Lance to know exactly how he’s feeling. 

Wants him to know that Keith is angry too, that Keith is angry that he can’t do anything right, he can’t even love someone without fucking things up.

He wants Lance to know that love doesn’t come easy to a boy like him. That Keith has fought and scratched for slivers of affection.

If that's what it takes, Keith will do the same for Lance. He’ll force those words out of his throat even if it leaves scars.

It would be worth it, just to be loved by Lance. 

If only Lance could ever love him back.

“Keith?”

Keith is a weak, weak man for this boy, with a voice like the sirens that he cannot resist. 

Keith isn’t sure he would want to resist him. 

If Keith’s siren looked like Lance, Keith wouldn’t be surprised. 

Lance is everything Keith has never had.

So Keith tilts his head back to look at Lance fully. “Whatcha doing out here?” Lance asks, as he sits on the ground next to him. 

Keith points at the stars. “I’ve been looking for a familiar constellation, but I can’t seem to find any.” He pauses before continuing. “It’s just odd, not being able to find the things that were the constants in my life growing up.”

Lance leans against him, and Keith wants to close his eyes and soak up this moment. 

He doesn’t. 

Instead, he listens while Lance leans closer and says, “We could always make our own constellations. Who’s going to stop us?” Lance points to a group of stars. “See, that one looks like an octopus. And that one over there is a man on a cloud.”

Keith chuckles at his antics. He points to the other section of the sky. “That one is… a boat?”

Lance nudges his arm. “See? You’re getting the hang of these games.”

Somehow, their heads end up resting upon each other as they trace patterns in the sky.

Keith should be better than he is at finding constellations after months of tracing Lance’s freckles. 

An explosion interrupts the sereneness. It lights the deep purple sky into wonderful colors of yellow and blue. It spreads across the sky like a bullet, causing the entire world to become bright for one moment. 

In that one moment, all Keith can see is Lance. 

“Keith! Lance! Did you see that?” Pidge shouts, running out of the church to watch with them. “How do you think they did it? Hunk! I bet they used-”

Another explosion goes off, red and green, dancing in funny twirls like Christmas lights. 

If Keith were a better person, if Keith were smarter, he wouldn’t have looked.

But he did. 

And so did Lance. 

Their eyes meet for a split second before Lance’s dart up to watch the next colors appear. 

Lance looks like a god, in the light of the explosion, except he needs no fear to make Keith worship him. 

Keith would do it without any words.

When Lance finally looks at him, Keith’s blood gets set on fire. He can feel it roaring in his ears, and Keith doesn’t think he’s ever loved anyone as much as he loves this boy.

~~

Lance never talks to Keith about that night. 

It takes a week for Lance to stop avoiding him, and another couple of days before they head back into their routine. 

They were long, painful days and Keith doesn’t know how he went 15 long years without ever knowing Lance. 

How he went a year without loving him.

They return to their nights on the bridges, full of quiet talks and longing hands.

Nothing ever happens. 

One night, when Lance isn’t waiting for Keith on the bridge to talk or to train, Keith finds Lance under the star map, zooming in on the Milky Way. 

It’s a bad night. 

Keith can tell in the way Lance doesn’t move when the door opens, doesn’t greet him when he sits down next to him. 

Keith can tell when Lance does avert his eyes away from the map long enough to look at him that it’s a Very bad night. 

These nights don’t happen often for either of them. Keith will throw himself into training or Lance will talk until nothing’s left.

It’s not often that Lance is already silent when Keith comes in. 

He watches as Lance’s eyes trace the constellations, eyes stopping for a moment each time before continuing. 

Keith gets comfy, laying next to Lance. He stares at Alpha Centauri, the twin stars closest to Earth’s solar system. 

They’re drawn to each other by gravity, stuck in the forever loop of orbiting each other, never getting closer or farther. 

They aren’t very bright by themselves, but together they create one of the brightest stars in the night sky.

Lance is so quiet, like a calm before a storm. 

So Keith is the one to start talking. 

“Sometimes, before my dad died, we would go out into the desert and we’d bring these backpacks of camping supplies, tents, some food and water. It was an empty desert, not many people intentionally travelled out there. 

“We would camp out there, nothing in mind. Sometimes he’d let me bring a couple of toys, spacecrafts and rocketships, and we would just sit out there, watching the stars. 

“It was nice, ya know, because he would tell me these stories about the constellations. Sometimes it would be how Orion gained his sight back, other times he would act out the animals. It was always the same every time we went out there though. I’d be told stories and be put to bed in the tent that we built.

“My dad would keep the fire going throughout the night. Burning embers, sending smoke into the sky. Most of the time he wouldn’t sleep. It was like he was waiting for something. 

“It’s one of the reasons I was drawn back to the desert after I was kicked out. You know, it must’ve been important if my dad waited out there all the time.” He turns to Lance and gives him a soft smile. “I guess all we were waiting for was you.”

Lance has his eyes close. Keith is so close he can hear Lance’s deep breaths. 

“I’ve always been waiting for you, Lance.”

When Lance opens his eyes and looks at him, truly looks at him for the first time that night. Lance whispers, a soft, raw sound. “Thanks, Mullet.”

Keith looks into Lance’s eyes and it feels all too like those soulmate stories he read, where they finally knew what colors felt like. 

He sees the stars reflect in Lance’s eyes and they look like the galaxies he had dreamt about not too long ago. 

~~

Another night on the bridge leads to them sparring in the training room. 

Keith knows Lance has been having trouble sleeping recently.

Keith is always awake anyway at this time. It’s not like Keith gets any more sleep than Lance, with him constantly running through his mind. 

Lance is teaching him how to shoot. “Widen your stance, Keith. If you try to shoot a gun like that, you’ll end up flat on your butt.”

Keith scowls, but does what he says anyways.

Keith has never been good at telling Lance no. 

Lance demonstrates with one of the ones the castle provided practice guns after giving up the red bayard to Keith to get the hang of it. 

When Lance shoots, it looks like breathing. Easy, fluid, smooth. 

It hits the bullseye. Every. Single. Time. He watches the way Lance moves from his everyday mindset into his soldier one. It’s chilling, to watch him change in seconds. 

Lance’s eyes narrow, his shoulders become taut and he shoots like nothing else matters.

Because on the battlefield, nothing else really does matter except for you and your teammates. 

Keith also knows Lance loves the way he shoots. With an intensity Keith only sees him with on the battlefield, he loves like he’d do anything for you to survive.

He loves you like you’re the last one standing.

Keith has seen it before in action, the way he’d thrown Coran out of the way on their first weeks in space, the way he’ll listen to Hunk ramble for hours on end, how he reminds Pidge to eat or sleep, how he gets Shiro to smile even on the bad days. 

Keith just wishes he could be on the receiving end. 

Lance steps away from the practice area. “Your turn, Mullet.”

Keith brings the gun up, arm straight and his eyes looking at the target through the sight. He squeezes the trigger, and the recoil of the gun throws his arm back. 

Lance winces. “Maybe I should have told you that.”

Keith scoffs. “Maybe?” He rubs his shoulder absentmindedly. 

“Try again?” Lance’s voice is hopeful. “Here,” he says as he moves behind Keith. He wraps his arms around Keith’s body, moving his back arm up to brace the gun. 

Lance is warm. Very warm. 

Lance steps away from him, and Keith is cold without him standing there. “That should work. We don’t shoot guns like they do in movies.” He gives Ketih a wink. 

Keith’s gay. He’s very gay for this boy.

Keith tries again, and doesn’t fail horrendously this time. The shot is still shit, but hey, at least he hit the target this time. 

Lance gives him one of his famous smirks and eyebrow raises. “Might be taking my spot as sharpshooter, Mullet.”

Keith shakes his head. “Wouldn’t plan on it.”

They work on shooting for a bit longer until Lance’s energy gets the best of him and Lance insists on sparring.

“Just because you taught me how to shoot doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you.”

“In your dreams, Mullet.”

“ _ Lance.  _ That doesn’t even make sense.”

Lance’s foot comes flying at him and Keith has to lean back and dodge. He quickly regains his balance, his eyes narrowing. 

He steps inside, and aims a punch at Lance’s shoulder.

Lance tilts his shoulders aside before ducking under his next punch. 

Lance tries to swing his arm around Keith, but he grabs Lance’s arm and twists gently.

Keith ends up on top of Lance somehow.

They’re staring.

It’s a long few seconds. 

Keith can feel Lance’s hard breaths tickling his face. His hair has fallen out of the ponytail, some bangs fall down around his eyes. 

Keith swallows hard and stands up quickly. He helps Lance up. 

Lance looks oddly disappointed. 

After they decide that they’re done beating each other up for that night, they sneak back into their own rooms. 

Lance lingers a bit behind Keith as Keith opens his door. 

“Thanks, Lance, for the shooting tips."

“Anytime, Samurai. I’m always happy to hel- Keith! Is that a hippo stuffed animal?”

Lance barrels into his room, and Keith is tired and exhausted and all he wants to do is fall face first into the mattress. 

Instead of feeling annoyed, however, he finds that the only feeling that builds in his chest is a warm, fond affection as he watches Lance picks up Jorge.

Lance plays with Jorge’s arms for a moment but turns to Keith and asks, “What’s their name?”

Keith blushes as he says quietly, “Jorge.”

Lance blinks at him. “You… named your stuffed animal… George?”

Keith nods slowly. “Is that… not normal? It’s spelled J- O- R- G- E-”

“You mean  _ Jorge _ .”

“Whore-hey? It’s not nice to call people whores, Lance.”

“That’s how you pronounce it! Not your fake English version."

“Is it not pronounced George?”

“ _ Keith, get that nonsense out of your mouth. _ ”

“Jor-ge?”

“That’s better.”

~~

“ _ Keith _ .”

“ _ Lance _ .”

“Why is it so hot out?”

“Probably because we’re in a desert. With three suns. And no shade. ” Keith glances up. “Unless you count the clouds.”

Keith hears Lance sigh. “How much longer do we have to go?”

“Until we get back to Red? Probably around another hour.”

“Why did we land Red so far away again?”

“I don’t know, Lance. Maybe the Galra would’ve been a bit suspicious of a giant mechanical lion flying over the town.”

Lance lets out another long sigh. “Why do you always have to be right, Mullet?”

Keith rolls his eyes. “How did you walk all the way there without complaining?”

“We were on a mission!”

“We’re  _ still _ on a mission.”

“Yea, but we did what we needed to do. Keith can’t you do the fancy thing you do with Red where you- Hey, Keith? Do you see that?”

“See what?”

“Keith! It’s  _ raining _ . Look!”

Lance is right. It starts off light, drops of rain falling slowly. 

Before they know it, it’s coming down and they’re getting soaked. 

Keith glares at Lance. “Are you happy now?”

“Very. Did Allura say this planet was safe to breathe in?” Lance is looking off to the side and his eyes are slightly glazed.

“Yes… She said that the air composition is mainly nitrogen and oxygen- Lance what are you doing?”

Lance has his helmet in his hands and he’s smiling. “Keith! It’s raining.” He gazes up at the sky in wonder. “What are the chances?”

The water lands on his face, trailing down his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his jaw and neck. His hair is wet now, curling around his face, strands sticking to his forehead. 

Lance turns to him and smiles even wider. He grabs Keith’s helmet and gently tugs onto. Keith tilts his head down and lets Lance take his helmet off. 

The rain soaks through his hair in seconds, and Keith shakes his head like a wet dog. Lance grabs Keith’s hand. 

“How often do we see rain, Keith? Come on, you gotta enjoy this with me.”

Keith would be happy to just watch Lance in the rain.

They’re close. 

Keith has an odd sense of deja vu as he watches Lance, only a slight amount taller.

Lance is looking at him with an emotion Keith can’t quite place. 

Lance hesitates for a few seconds before throwing his head back and laughing.

Keith indulges Lances for a few moments before stepping back to watch Lance. 

Lance is the sun. He’s full of light and shines away darkness. He brings beauty into every morning, and every night, once he leaves, the room no longer shines. 

While Lance is the sun, Keith is Neptune. He’s far, far, far away from the sun, where it’s cold and lonely. Keith was never meant to hold love. His existence wasn’t built for that. 

So Keith does the next best thing. He holds it tightly where not even he can reach it, hides it along the path of Pluto, far, far away from the sun. 

~~

Keith is coming to terms with the feeling of waking up when he catches the scent of eggs and bacon. His brain is still brain-mush after waking up from a deep sleep. 

There quiet banging from the kitchen, and a soft humming sound trying to lull him back to sleep. 

Keith doesn’t want to wake up, he'd be perfectly content sleeping in this for the rest of his life. But when the smell of coffee drifts into his nose, Keith decides it would be worth it to get up. 

When Keith opens his eyes, he’s in a queen-sized bed, the sheets next to him are wrinkled and twisted and the pillowcase has a head indent. 

Keith runs a hand through his hair as he sits up in bed. It’s longer than he remembers it being.

On the coffee table lays a half drunk glass of water with a hair tie next to it. There’s a little note beside it.

_ Good Morning, mi amor, _

_ Can’t wait to spend the day with you, Samurai. _

There’s only one person who calls him Samurai. 

That means Lance must be in the kitchen.

Keith puts his feet on the ground, the wood is chilly and cold. He glances at the other side of the bed. There are Blue Lion slippers on the ground and a robe on the closet door.

He pads out of their room, and sees Lance shirtless over the oven. Lance’s back is still facing him. Keith leans against the wall as his eyes scan down Lance’s back.

His eyes catch on the large discolored scar in the center of his back, the reminder of their time in space. 

Keith notices Lance’s shoulders are broader, his lat muscles are more defined. Keith lets his eyes trail farther down, something he would’ve never allowed himself. There are small dimples on both sides at the small of his back. 

Keith doesn’t remember Lance having them. He’s never really found them attractive before, but seeing them on Lance makes him want to place his hands to cover them. 

He finds himself walking forward, draping himself over Lance’s back. 

He feels Lance stiffen before realizing it’s him. 

“Well, good morning to you too, mi amor.” Lance’s morning voice is deep and raspy and Keith could live like this forever. 

Lance turns his head to kiss Keith’s head as he buries his face into Lance’s neck. “I gotta finish breakfast, unless you want it to burn, babe.”

Keith moves his head away, and wraps his arms around Lance’s waist, pulling him closer and kissing the base of his neck, right where the scar starts. 

He feels Lance shiver. 

Lance smacks his hands away from where they rest on his stomach. “I’m not letting our food burn again, you heathen.”

Keith pouts and Lance rolls his eyes in response. “Just be patient, mi amor. It’ll be ready soon.”

When they sit down for breakfast, Keith is more content than he has been in a long time. 

He sees the look that Lance gives him, the look of utter adoration as they eat breakfast together.

It’s a familiar look, and Keith can’t place where he has seen it before. 

There’s an odd tingling in his body, starting from his stomach reaching out to his fingers. Keith can feel himself slipping away.

So Keith watches Lance back and leans forward to press a kiss against his nose-

His body jolts, and when Keith opens his eyes, he’s back on the space whale. 

His heart is still beating, racing, at the idea of being together with Lance.

It’s not the first time Keith has seen these flashes. 

It is the first time that the flashes have been something other than his memories. 

“Keith? What was that?”

Keith looks as far as his eyes can take him, everything is lit by a soft glow.

“I don’t know.”

~~

It wouldn’t be the last time these weird, future flashes would pop up.

It was after a flash where Lance was a witch and Keith was a vampire where Krolia would figure out that they were most likely in a quantum field. 

“These flashes we’re seeing, Keith, are other realities.”

“How does that work?”

“I do not know.”

~~

_ “Captain.” _

_ The captain nodded in confirmation. “And you?” _

_ The man tilted his head slightly. “Not important.” _

_ Landor’s brows furrowed, mouth opened in protest when Zarkon chuckled, “Play nice, Kythal.” _

_ Kythal scowled. “Lieutenant.” _

Keith doesn’t know how he got here, to be sitting at the table with Lance, Allura, and Alfor, but he won’t be objecting. 

“How was training today, Kythal?”

Keith wipes his mouth with their fancy cloth napkins. “We discussed sparring techniques. I taught him the proper way to spar, Galran style.”

“Hey! Don’t be mean.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “You ended up on your back more than I did, I’m not sure if that’s what you call fighting.” He watches Lance raise his eyebrow suggestively before panicking for a moment and cutting him off. “Do not say what I think you’re about to say.”

Lance pouts and crosses his arms.  _ Cute _ . “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.” 

Allura lets out a long sigh. “Knock it off, Lance. Kythal’s a guest.”

Lance waits until nobody (important) is watching him before sticking his tongue out in typical toddler fashion. 

“And your day, Landor? Besides losing to Kythal?”

Lance shakes his head. “Not you too, Alfor.” Allura opens her mouth and Lance cuts her off. “Don’t you dare, Princess” he hisses. Allura closes her mouth with a ‘hmpf’. “Beside that.” Lance gives him a playful glare. “I had a very good day, Alfor.”

“And yours, Allura?”

“Good, Father. I also had a good day training.”

Keith shovels a fork full of food into his mouth. He adjusts his weight a bit, his foot hitting something under the table. 

Keith sees Lance smirk out of the corner of his eye, and a brief flash of panic flows through him. 

Lance’s foot hits his leg. Keith purses his lips and takes another bite of food. 

Lance kicks him again. 

Keith takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before taking another bite of his food. 

“Kythal? Are you satisfied with the food?”

Keith clears his throat. “Um, yes. Thank you.”

Lance kicks him again, and Keith catches his foot between his legs. 

He sees Lance’s smirk turn into a frown as he tugs on his foot. His brow furrows as Keith tightens his grip around Lance’s foot. 

Allura gives him an odd look at Lance sinks slightly in his seat, adjusting his weight to attempt to steal his foot back. 

Alfor seems to be distracted by someone new who has arrived and showing him a long piece of paper. 

Lance somehow manages to wrench his foot out and goes right back to smacking him. 

Keith gives him a little shake of the head and hits Lance back. 

Allura definitely knows what’s happening under the table, because she turns her head with a small smile on her face. Lance has yet to realize, but he’s peaking a bit under the table, his neck craning to glance at their feet. 

Gods, Keith never wanted to leave that day.

~~

“Get on the fucking bike!” he shouts.

Akira can hear loud yelling coming from behind them as the stranger kicks one leg over the bike and yells “Drive, goddammit!”

The stranger is warm against his back despite it being wet and freezing out. They’re still breathing heavily after running, and Akira can feel the warm breath of air against his ear.

Akira comes to a halt, grabbing the strangers arm and leading them through a dark alleyway, barely lit by any streetlight. He opens a well-hidden door behind a garage can.

He can hear the stranger audibly gag, but Akira ignores it. He whispers harshly back to them, “If you want to get caught, I will gladly leave you behind.”

The stranger behind him falls silent. 

Akira huffs out a good, before continuing along, bending over slightly to fit in the door. 

It’s a glorified tunnel that leads to his bunker. He twists the large gear, opening his metal door. He hops down, and he hears the strangers feet land behind him. 

When Akira flicks on the light, they both wince at the sudden brightness. 

“Dude, what the fuck did you put in these lightbulbs?”

“I don’t know! I found them on the street!” Akira snaps. 

When it’s no longer painful to open his eyes for more than two seconds, Akira finally gets a good look at the stranger he brought into his secret bunker. 

Well, it’s not so secret anymore. Akira can’t help but wonder if bringing this stranger here was a good idea. Should’ve dropped him off in the alley when he had the chance.

The stranger is tall, taller than him, in a deep, deep green leather jacket. The blue in his turtleneck brings out his eyes and his brown hair is long and curly. He has a holster around his waist and his hands are covered in fingerless gloves.

Akira must have shitty luck, bringing an attractive stranger into his bunker. 

Actually, his luck might not be so shitty, given that he now has a very pretty stranger in his (not so secret) bunker. 

“What’s your name?”

“Leandro.”

Fuck, even his voice is pretty. 

“Akira.”

“Where did you get all of this shit from? Do you know how many people are out looking for this?”

“Why were you running?”

“I asked the question first.”

Akira scowls. “Don’t be a child.”

“I am not being a child.”

“How do people stand you?”

“They don’t, typically.”

“Have you been living by yourself?”

“I won’t answer until you answer mine.”

“Jesus Christ,  _ fine _ .” Akira’s scowl deepens. He thinks he might’ve been a bit early saying he was lucky having Leandro here. Akira’s hand twitches for his knife, but he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.  _ Can’t have murder on his hands as well _ . “I used to stay here with my brother, then he disappeared and left me with all this shit. My turn, why were you running from the police?”

Leandro opens his mouth then pauses for a second. “Look, if I tell you what I did, you won’t judge me, right?”

“That depends. What did you do?”

Leandro winces and scratches the back of his head. “I, um, stole a hovercar?”

“You  _ what _ ?”

“Did you not hear me right the first time? I said  _ I stole a hovercar _ .”

“I know that’s what you said. But that sentence require some more explanation-”

Leandro rolls his eyes in annoyance. “Why do you even care?”

“Look, it’s a little concerning that I brought someone to my bunker, someone who I don’t know and now could possibly be a fugitive-”

Leandro exhales loudly before cutting him off. “Look, I may be a fugitive, but I’m a damn hot one.” Akira gives him a dead look. “No? Not working? You know what, forget I said that.” Leandro rubs his forehead tiredly. “I’m a part of the Lion Force, okay?” He mutters the next part. “I should not be telling you this.”

“Yeah, and I shouldn’t have shown you my secret bunker. Guess we’re both making mistakes tonight.”

A loud banging thunders throughout the room. “Open up! Or else we’re coming in thirty seconds. One! Two! Three-”

Akira and Leandro exchange glances before Akira whisper-yells, “What weapons do you like?”

“ _ What _ ?”

“What weapons do you use? I’m trusting that you won’t stab me or shoot me in the back of the head.”

Leandro gives him a devastating grin. Akira is reminded in this moment how truly gay he is. “Duel blasters, please and thank you.”

Akira opens a single cabinet, full of all the guns he and Shiro had collected over the years. He slides two dual pistols towards Leandro before grabbing his own sword and knife combination out. 

“Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

The door flies open, connecting with the stone wall with a loud  _ clang _ . Three police soldiers burst inside, masks and all. 

They hold their own blasters and they raise them to fire. 

They don’t raise them fast enough. 

Leandro takes the first shot, nailing a soldier in between the eyes.

He crumples to the ground.

While the other two hesitate for a moment, Keith moves behind them, stabbing one in the back and letting him fall. 

Leandro shoots the one in between and the soldier falls to his knees limp. 

Leandro’s pistol is still smoking when Akira glances at him. Leandro winks at him, blowing the smoke away. 

I’m thinking we might make a good team, hot shot,” Leandro says with a wink.

~~

“Papi! Papi! Look, look! I drew Yorak!” A little girl runs around Lance’s legs, thrusting a picture up for him to grab. It’s colored carefully in marker, only a few spots where the color leaves the lines. 

It’s not the most accurate of drawings but there’s distinguishable horns at the top of the head, and a long tail. 

Allura has used the wrong colors, but Keith watches as Lance smiles anyway and pins it on the corkboard next to the refrigerator. 

“That’s very beautiful, mi estrella. Have you been able to draw Adam yet? I’m sure he’d love a drawing too.”

“Abeoji.” Yorak tugs at the cuff of his shirt. 

They’re small for their species, their horns have barely grown with their body and their tail is longer than their legs. Yorak’s slightly disproportionate, but Keith thinks it has something to do with where Lance and him found them on their home planet. 

Keith reaches out and ruffles what is essentially their hair. “What’s up, bud?” he says. 

“Can you tell me the story of the hunter? The blind hunter who gets his sight back?” 

“Of course, kiddo.” Keith picks Yorak up and throws them over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Yorak lets out a squeal and hangs loosely from where they are.

Keith playfully throws them on the couch, and sits down next to them a moment later. 

“Adam! Abeoji is telling a story to Yorak, come down if you want to hear it, we’re all down here if you want.”

Allura jumps on Keith’s lap, making him oof’ in response. She snuggles up against him and Yorak.

Adam’s footsteps are heard thundering down the stairs as Lance throws a blanket on top of them.

His curly brown hair bounces with each step he takes. “What’s the story this time?”

Lance gets under the massive blanket with them, curling up on the side that’s not already occupied. 

“Orion,” Lance yawns.

“Falling asleep already?”

“Shut up.” 

Adam gets next to Lance on the couch, and Keith can’t help but think that someday this couch will be unable to hold all of them. But that time isn’t now, because now he has his kids curled up next to him, waiting for him to start the story of the hero Orion. 

By the time he finishes, everyone has fallen asleep. Lance’s head rests on his shoulder, while Yorak and Allura are sleeping on top of each other. Adam has his head resting on their laps and his feet are curled up into a ball, barely fitting onto the couch. 

It’s peaceful and perfect.

When Keith opens his eyes again, he’s back on the space whale. 

When Keith always leaves the flashes, he has an odd mix of contentment and disappointment built up in his chest.

~~

In some of the flashes, there aren’t happy endings. The realities are odd, sometimes, where Keith is left wondering what choices they made to lead them there.

He experiences a future where Allura dies, Adam’s dead back on Earth, and Lance spends his life as a farmer. 

Keith doesn’t want to imagine what Lance went through to make him desire to be a  _ farmer _ . 

Some of them, Keith meets Lance younger, and they’re child best friends falling for each other at the wrong time. 

Some of them aren’t about him. He sees his dad and Krolia, sees them meet, fall in love. Sees himself in the arms of a caring family. 

Keith sees the life he never had. 

Keith doesn’t know what to feel about these flashes. Except that in almost every universe, Keith loves Lance. 

Undeniable, unchangeable, fact. 

When Keith returns home from the space whale, Romelle, Krolia and the space wolf in tow, he sees Lance. 

Lance looks different. More mature, yet less sure. It’s an odd paradox that Keith doesn’t have the time to dissect. 

Keith doesn’t have the time to dissect the way Lance calls him, “bigger, cooler, grizzled” and the way it makes his heart beat faster and it warms his mind.

Keith doesn’t know any other way to focus, so he snaps, “I don’t have time for this, Lance,” because Keith truly doesn’t have the time to understand all the emotions he’s dealing with.

He notices the way Lance shrinks back, the way he hides slightly. If Keith hadn’t trained with the Blade, learning body language, Keith surely wouldn’t have noticed. 

It would be later, after everything calmed down, that Keith would call Slav. 

After the second ring, Slav answers. Behind him are multiple books on the floor, and random colored socks all over the place. 

“Quick! What color are your socks?”

“I’m… not wearing socks right now?”

Slav’s eyes widened. “This is fifty thousand more new possibilities!”

“Okay, okay, slow your roll, I’m sure my socks don’t affect it that much. I do have one question for you. How do alternate realities work?” he demands.

“Oh,” Slav says. “I only know a little bit! Different realities stem from different choices and circumstances.”

Keith wants to smash his head against the table. 

“I know that, Slav. But Quantum Abyss? Ring a bell?”

“You went through a  _ Quantum Abyss _ ??? Did you know that 78 percent of species that go there will experience flashes of different realities? 12 percent that visit die, and the other 10 percent will jump through realities! Isn’t the Quantum Abyss amazing?”

Keith is one more word away from actually smashing his head against the table.

“What are the possibilities that the flashes that I experienced in the Abyss will happen in our reality?”

“Low, very low. But not impossible.”

Keith wants to ask another question. He opens his mouth to say it, but no words come out. 

“Do you have another question?” Slav checks his watch, and his eyes shine with panic as he looks back up at Keith. “Are you wearing a belt? I need to know  _ now _ .”

Keith glances down. “Uh, yes?”

Two of Slav’s eight hands go to his hair, grabbing handfuls of it and tearing at it. “This is not good. This is not good.”

Slav slams the hang-up button and Keith is left with his question still on his lips. 

~~

It’s the rare night where Keith and Lance aren’t hanging out together. Keith is sure Lance is still upset, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

This will all be solved in a week, and Keith will tell him then. 

Keith isn’t sure he can wait much longer. Every time he glances at Lance, his heart fills his chest and flows over into his mouth and Keith will choke trying to keep it down.

Keith is halfway to sleep before the castle alarms start to blare. 

He jolts out of bed with a loud expletive, throwing the blankets off in one go. 

He dons his paladin armor and grabs the black bayard and his knife before he leaves the room. 

He reaches the command room of the Castle ship. He reaches there at around the same time as the other paladins, and Allura and Coran already wait. 

They stand in front of a large map, with local star systems and planets. There are animations of ships moving and with each beep, it flashes a deep red. . 

Allura turns around to sit in her paladin chair. “Paladins, to your lions. Coran and Shiro will explain once you’re there, this is urgent.”

Keith pulls the lever on his seat, sending him down into Black’s cockpit. Keith is the first to take off, Lance following not far behind. Blue leaves the castle with a roar and Green and Yellow are the next out. 

The first thing he sees is a massive Galran fleet. 

Keith hits accept on the incoming call. “How the fuck did they find us?”

“We don’t know, except that they have troop after troop coming for us. This is a suicide mission for the pilots in each of those ships.” 

“Fuck,” Keith mutters. 

“We have enough firepower to take each section on one by one, right?” Lance asks, his face set in a grimace. 

“We don’t know how many they’ve sent our way, Lance.”

“We’ve gotta try, right?”

“ _ Hunk _ !”

Keith’s surprised they didn’t try shooting before. He pulls on Black’s control, weaving him in and out between the ships, taking a few out with Black’s cannon or jawblade. 

“I think we might have to split up. There’s no way Voltron will be able to take out all of these. We have to wait until there are less of them.”

“Roger that, Team Leader.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Red shoot off to the left. Yellow follows, and Keith moves Black into the next group of ships.

He takes out a few more with his ion cannon. 

They’re all struggling to keep up with the steady influx of new Galran fighter ships. 

“They just keep coming! How many have they sent after us?” Hunk shouts, swerving Yellow to avoid a blast. 

Black shakes with the next shot. “We gotta keep fighting, team. We have no other option.”

“Keith! I think it might be time to form Voltron now!” Lance shouts. 

“Alright! Team, form Voltron!”

Keith feels the team as extensions of himself. 

He feels Hunk and Allura as steadfast and strong.

He feels Pidge and Lance as even and balanced. 

Keith feeds off their energy. “Alright, team. Let’s roll.”

They slice through the first squadron of ships, using their sword. 

The next is taken out by Hunk’s cannon, followed by a beam from Green. 

They manage to take out most of the fighter ships before they run face first into a command ship. 

“Fuck! Disband _ , I said disband _ !” Keith shouts as he watches the ion cannon charge. 

They split at just the right time. 

The ion cannon misses them barely by inches, and Keith can feel the heat radiating from it, 

He thrusts Black out of the way, going back to fighting the fighter jets. 

While his body takes over on autopilot, swerving and shooting for him, his brain returns to Lance. 

He’s going to tell him after this battle. 

Keith just now realizes how fragile life is in the game that is war. 

He can’t keep it to himself any longer. 

“ _ Pidge _ !”

Keith watches in slow-motion as the Red Lion collides into Green, getting hit by a blast from the ion cannon. 

Red stops moving. 

Keith can hear her shouting, screaming in his head. 

Keith lets out a shout, his heart is pounding, he can’t hear anything above the blood roaring in his ears. 

He grits his teeth. His hands twitch to go and help him.

Keith goes after the command ship.

For the first time in years, he lets his fury and his anger course through his veins. 

He doesn’t hold back.

It feels good. 

The ship explodes, and Keith doesn’t give anyone time to escape.

He glances around, looking for Yellow, Green, and Blue making sure that they have everything under control.

There’s a color missing.

Keith is going to get him back. 

He follows the trail down to the planet below them. 

He pushes Black as fast as they can go. 

The panic has replaced the anger and fear is crawling up his throat. 

Keith just needs to get there. 

He lands Black, and sprinting out of her mouth as soon as it opens. 

The Red Lion lays in a massive heap, smoking and metal and parts are strewn across the surface of a planet that Keith isn’t even sure safe for humans. 

But Keith runs anyway. 

He ignores the way his legs ache, his lungs burn because his only thought is  _ Lance _ . 

How he ended up loving this stupid, idiot, self-sacrificial boy and how he can’t- Lance _ can’t _ die.

He can’t die before Keith has a chance to tell him how he really feels. 

When Keith gets there, the Red Lion opens its mouth slowly. It’s as if she remembers him, and he can hear her one thought: _ Please, save _ . Keith has to bend down to make it inside. He’s still catching his breath when he sees Lance. 

Blood is smeared on the dashboard of Red, across the floor and walls.

It looks like a murder scene from a horror movie. 

Except it’s not a horror movie and Keith doesn’t have a choice but to watch it. 

Keith wants to look away. 

He can’t tear his eyes away from this scene. 

Lance in on the floor of the cockpit. He lies in a limp tangle of limbs. His helmet is off and dented. 

Keith falls to his knees, his armor making a loud noise when it connects with the metal of the cockpit. He crawls towards Lance. 

Keith pushes Lance’s bloody hair back from his forehead, and Lance lets out a small whine.

“Hey,” Keith whispers. “Open your eyes for me, Lance. Come on, you got it.”  _ Please _ . 

Lance’s eyes crack open, barely enough that Keith can see the sliver of blue. 

“That’s it, come on, stay with me, Lance.”

Keith scans down Lance’s body, eyes catching on a large gash, stretching from the top of his chest all the way down to his opposite hipbone. Every breath that lance takes pushes more blood out of the wound. 

Keith’s blood runs cold and freezes in his body. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ \- It’s alright, we’ll fix this, Lance.”

Keith’s hands are shaking when he reaches for the first aid kit. 

He takes the bandages, unrolling it and pressing down on Lance’ stomach.

It causes him to cough, blood trickling from his mouth. 

Lance grabs Keith’s wrist, weakly. 

Lance’s voice comes out raspy and weak. “Won’t work-” another cough. “Don’t bother-”

“No, Lance. Please just stay with me-” He shouts into his comm, “Coran! I need a pod prepared-”

His eyes track Lance’s breaths, weakly rising and falling. 

“Keith.” 

Keith lets him look back at Lance, whose eyes are looking back at him. 

They’re clear and the same eyes Keith fell in love with all those years ago. 

Keith gathers Lance into his arms, Lance is limp, every movement brings a huff of pain. 

Lance still manages to look at him. 

Keith isn’t sure when he gave up, when he knew that it would be impossible. 

Keith opens his mouth. 

Keith stares, unable to force the words out of his numb mouth, his hands covered in Lance’s blood. He watches as Lance’s head lolls against his shoulder, as he slowly falls limp. 

Keith’s confession dies on the tip of his tongue and his boy dies in his arms.

_ Some things are not meant to be.  _

~~

Some stars die with supernovas, with bright flashes of light after its explosion.

Some stars die with black holes, where gravity is so strong, not even light can escape.

Lance’s death is like a star becoming a black hole. 

~~

Keith holds Lance until he turns cold, as if thinking he could bring the warmth back into his body himself. 

As if he thought that if he wished hard enough, his Lance would be there, smiling and alive, joking.

Keith isn’t really sure what he’s thinking. 

He’s numb. 

And confused. 

_ Why did Lance have to die? _

~~

Eventually, Keith will return to the castle. He’ll hold onto Lance’s body all the way there. 

Keith will lay Lance down on the floor of the hanger while he collapses to his knees. 

Keith will cry, then, with his team. He’ll be unable to get the sight of Lance’s blood over his hands out of his head. 

Allura will fall into Coran’s arms, who will hold her while she sobs into his clothes. 

His mother will stare sadly at Lance’s body, despite not knowing him well. She’s seen too many young soldiers unable to return to their families. 

He’ll watch the way Shiro straightens, the way his muscles grow tense, like he’s reliving a memory.

He’ll watch as Hunk whispers, “No, no, no, no-”

And the way Pidge will fall quiet, blankly staring at Lance’s body. 

Pidge is only a  _ kid _ .

Keith guesses they’re all too young for this war. 

~~

When Keith returns to Lance’s room, it is cold, dark, gray and so unlike the way it was when Lance was alive.

Keith guesses Lance brought life into everywhere he went.

Keith doesn’t know why he brings himself here so soon. 

He doesn’t do anything except sit on the bed, somewhere Keith once dreamt of being. He didn’t imagine this would be the reason. 

A small, brown journal sits on Lance’s nightstand, something he bought from a Earth trade store back when they first arrived in space. 

Keith thought Lance must’ve lost it. 

The pen cap is still open, and the notebook is flipped over, its spine open and pages touching the metal. 

He can’t stop himself from picking up where Lance left off. 

Lance’s chicken scratch flows across the pages in surprisingly straight lines.

_ Here we go again, Mullet.  _

_ I really hope you never have to read this. Hopefully you’ll hear it from me instead of this note book. _

_ That would be embarrassing.  _

~~_ You’re hot. _ ~~ _ Don’t read that. I just needed to get something off my chest.  _

_ Well, fuck. _

_ I missed you, asshole.  _

_ When you came back, all I could think about was you.  _

_ Why do you have to be so goddamn attractive? Yet another thing you’re better than me at.  _

_ I wish I could tell you the way I feel.  _

_ There’s no way you could ever love me back. _

_ You’re better than me in every way. Why would you ever settle for a guy like me when you could get anyone you wanted.  _

_ I was thinking about telling you soon, anyway.  _

_ It would be better than wallowing in my own pity and feelings.  _

_ I wanted our first kiss to be in the rain, did you know that? _

_ I was going to kiss you that day in the rain. _

_ Too bad I’m too much of a coward.  _

_ I wish I weren’t a coward.  _

_ You deserve someone who won’t be a coward about their feelings around you. _

_ Sometimes I wish you didn’t make it so damn easy to love you. _

_ With your gentle smiles that felt like they were only for me, the way that you- _

It cuts off harshly, with a long line, and the ink is pressed hard into the paper.

Keith flips back to the beginning of the journal.

Lance loved him. 

_ He couldn’t have. _

But he did. 

Why didn’t Keith tell him earlier?

There are earlier messages, most of them titled to him in lovely and endearing ways, such as asshole, mullet, samurai, hot piece of ass. 

Keith closes the journal and clutches it close to his chest. 

Suddenly he’s walking down the halls of the Castle. He doesn’t know where everyone else is, but he checks the common room first. 

It’s quiet and empty and everything feels wrong. 

Keith checks the kitchen next. 

He finds Hunk. There are piles of bowls on the counter, all unfinished. Forks and knives are dirty in the sink.

Hunk is sitting at the table, head in his hands. 

He hears Keith enter and looks up. 

Hunk looks worse than Keith does. His hair sticks straight up, and his bandana is twisted and crooked. His eyes are a deep red. 

Keith is holding the journal loosely in his right hand. 

Hunk’s eyes travel downward, catching on the journal. 

Keith’s body is shaking. “He loved me.” 

Hunk stays silent, his eyes glued to the notebook. 

“You didn’t tell me?” His voice breaks. 

Hunk closes his eyes and looks up at him. “I tried, man. Neither of you would listen to us.”

“He loved me, Hunk. I never told him I loved him before he died.”

He stumbles forward, only to be caught by Hunk. 

~~

Keith will later call Slav.

Slav already has an apologetic look on his face. 

“How many realities?”

_ How many realities did Lance die? _

“1 in 5.14 billion.”

~~

Keith is angry. 

Keith is angry at himself.

Keith is angry at Lance. 

Why did Keith have to forget? Why did Lance make him fall in love with him if he were going to die?

Why?

Was love intertwined with pain? Was it an inevitable outcome? Was it like life and death, one always follows the other?

Keith knew how much it hurt to lose someone.

He fell in love anyway. 

Keith doesn’t do much now-a-days other than fighting the bot. 

It’s the only way he feels alive again.

It sets his blood on fire. It’s the closest he can get to remembering the way Lance looked at him and made him feel. 

The door opens in the middle of a gladiator session.

Keith ignores it. 

He’s getting sloppy, after his fifth round at Level 9. His punches are slower, his reaction time is off. 

He gets smacked in the stomach, causing him to double-over and wheeze. 

“End training simulation.”

Keith whirls on Shiro. “Why’d you do that?” he hisses. “I was  _ training _ .” 

“You’re hurting yourself, Keith.”

“You can’t stop me,” Keith bites out. “Start training-”

“ _ Keith _ .”

“What, Shiro? Are you going to tell me how to cope? I’m sorry, but did he die in  _ your _ arms?”  _ Did you love him as much as Icarus loved the sun? _

Shiro’s face drops. He takes a long shuddering sigh. “Keith,  _ please _ . This isn’t how Lance would want you to live.”

“Well he’s not alive anymore, now is he?”

It’s meant to be a jab at Shiro, something to make him keel over and leave him alone.

It backfires on Keith, stabs him in the stomach and fills his heart with pain. 

Keith wants to do anything but stand here and yell at Shiro. 

Shiro squeezes his eyes shut. 

Keith punches the wall next to the weapon rack. “Fuck.” He does it again. 

It hurts good. 

Get’s his mind off his feelings and the way he feels helpless and powerless for the first time in  _ years _ . 

Shiro pulls him away from the wall with his steady arms. 

“Keith,” he whispers into his ear. 

Keith can’t help but hate him at that moment. 

Hates the way Shiro can see right through him, hates the way that he also loves Shiro, hates that that love can’t replace the hole in his chest. 

All of his anger evaporates from his body. 

He goes limp. Keith is exhausted. 

“It’s okay, buddy. Let it out.”

Keith turns and buries his face into Shiro’s shoulder and his knees buckle as he lets out the most heartbroken sob.

Shiro cries with him.

~~

He lays in the map room, staring at the familiar twin set of stars, Alpha Centauri. 

_ Why couldn’t it have been him? _

If Keith were only faster, smarter, better at being the  _ leader _ of the team like Lance had trusted him to be, they wouldn’t- they would still have Lance,  _ alive _ . 

It should’ve been Keith. 

The team wouldn’t be so quiet, so sad, so broken.

Lance was more important than he gave himself credit for. 

Keith was gone with the Blades for months, and the team managed without him.

It’s barely been a month, and everyday they’re haunted by the ghost of where Lance should’ve been. 

The door to the map room opens and closes.

Keith hears a small shuffling from across the room, and he turns his head to look at Pidge. 

They have a blanket wrapped around them. Their hair is a mess, and their undereyes are worse than they ever have been. 

Their steps are shaky when they walk toward him. He moves over slightly to the side as Pidge lays down next to him. 

“Lance and I used to come here when we couldn’t sleep,” Keith says numbly. “We’d watch the stars. Sometimes I’d tell him a story. Sometimes he’d tell me stories of his family on Earth-"

It hits him like a truck. 

Lance has a family on Earth who will miss him. 

They'll sit, waiting for their boy to come home. Who'll never be able to hug him again, tell them he loves them.

Keith doesn’t have anyone outside of Voltron who would have cared if he were gone.

_ Why couldn’t it have been him? _

“You know it’s not your fault, right?” Pidge asks, their voice is worn and hoarse. “You wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. If it wasn’t my fault for being in the way, he wouldn’t have pushed me out of the way.”

“Pidge, you couldn’t have known. It was my fault for calling it anyway.”

“It should’ve been me, Pidge. Everyone has a  _ family _ here. Someone to care about them when they’re gone. There’s no one back on Earth who would care if I died out here. It would’ve been fitting, if I had died out here. Ironic even-”

“No one deserves to die in a war that they didn’t start, Keith. Not even the Galra. How many people do you think they lost, Keith, how many parents will forever be waiting for that final goodbye from their children? We aren’t the only ones in this war. I think we forget that sometimes.”

Keith glances at her. “How old are you?”

Pidge rolls their eyes. “Old enough, by war standards apparently.” They pause for a moment before adding, “There comes a point where you go through so many death logs that you realize how impactful war is. I’ve come across more than 100,000 death logs in a week before, back when I was looking for my family. There are so many families wishing to see their kid for the last time and knowing that they’ll never be able to.”

Keith is silent. “That happens without war, too.” 

Pidge rests their head on his shoulder. “I think the best thing we can try to do is not blame ourselves. It won’t bring him back. He wouldn’t want us to feel the way he would’ve felt if he hadn’t saved us.” Their voice grows quiet. “He gave us a chance, Keith.”

Pidge’s breathing evens out into deep snores, and Keith is happy they’re getting sleep for the first time in days.

He can’t stop himself from thinking,  _ what if? _

~~

Keith hasn’t been able to leave his room. Hasn’t had the motivation to do much, to be honest. Doesn’t have the motivation to turn on a light or eat. 

He’s tired, but this type of tired can’t be fixed by sleeping. 

He has Lance’s notebooks under his pillow, and sometimes, he’ll fall asleep reading it. 

Keith thinks he’s memorized most of the letters at this point. 

On the rare occasion where Keith does have enough energy to leave his room, he’ll find himself in the kitchen, watching Hunk cook. 

It’s as soothing for Hunk as it is for Keith. 

Keith becomes Hunk’s taste tester.

It doesn’t require much energy from him, mostly just using a spoon and trying whatever concoction Hunk has come up with. 

He knows, now, why Lance loved watching Hunk cook so much.

Hunk’s food is delicious.

Although it does seem to be missing some of it’s pep now-a-days. 

It’s missing a flavor, but neither Keith nor Hunk can figure out what.

Lance would’ve known. 

On the bad days, where Keith can not find the energy to eat or drink, when the only thought running through his mind is the thought of Lance, sometimes the way he used to look at Keith, sometimes the memory of his hands covered in blood, and the soft warmth of Lance’s hand against his wrist. 

On those days, Allura will join him in his room. 

She needs it as much as he does. 

Sometimes their bad days will overlap. In that case, they’ll sit in silence, sometimes Allura will read the letter from Lance’s journals out loud, finding the ones he addressed to the team.

Other times, she tells him Altean bedtime stories. Allura tells him the story of these dragon-like creatures, the way they used to fly, and the stories of their riders. 

The stories soothe the way Keith feels deep in his chest. Nostalgia will fill his body as he remembers the way his father used to tell him bedtimes stories. 

After Allura visits, they almost always fall asleep.

~~

When they return to Earth, Keith has to grit his teeth at the sight of Iverson. 

They receive medals and war honors after saving Earth from an intergalactic war. 

He takes it even though it burns like a branding iron.

Keith goes to Cuba, next. He’ll go and visit the beaches he heard Lance talk oh, so much about. 

His next stop will be the McClain household. 

When he knocks on the door, a suitcase and a letter in his hand, his heart feels as though it will beat out of his chest.

Maybe all the McClains will make him feel this way. 

He won’t ever be able to love them the way he loved Lance, but he hopes whatever he can give them will be good enough. 

A loud shout of words in Spanish follow the knock, and an older woman answers the door. 

“¿Quién eres?” she asks. “Who are you?”

“I’m Keith. I’m a Paladin of Voltron and I knew your son.”

He hands her the letter, the letter Lance had addressed to them in his journal. 

Keith never read it, never felt right reading something so personal to Lance. 

“Come in, mijo. We can talk inside.”

The talk will end in tears, and the woman will be lost in her own memories. 

~~

Keith isn’t able to stay on Earth after that. He visits, of course. He visits Adam and Shiro, content with their jobs as teachers at the Garrison, He visits Pidge and Matt at their labs back on Earth. He visits Hunk’s famous kitchen of exotic space foods. 

Nothing is ever the same after. 

Keith is always searching for something to make him feel the same way he felt with Lance. 

He’s tried drugs and alcohol, always waking up muggy and sore the next morning and it’s never quite felt the same.

Maybe Lance was a different type of drug, and Keith’s been addicted, waiting for a fix that’ll never come again. 

Occasionally, Keith will come across a planet with rain. 

He’ll always wait around until it does rain, and he’ll sit outside with Kosmo, getting soaked to the bone. 

Each time it rains, he’s reminded of the reality he could’ve had.

He wonders each time too, what might have been if Keith wasn’t too late.

~~

At the end of it all, no one ever really recovers from Lance’s death. Hunk still waits to the side after cooking a sauce; Pidge still rambles on, as if waiting for someone to chirp in with a response; Shiro waits for Lance’s jokes to clear the air; Coran will start to tell stories to no one; Allura will twirl the ends of her hair as if wishing there were someone there to braid it. 

And Keith? Keith will always have the empty feeling in his heart, always looking for someone to him, to see him the way Lance saw him. 

It’s something he’ll never be able to find again. 

His heart will always return to the bright, gorgeous boy from Cuba, who didn’t have enough time. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it (as much as you could)!
> 
> hope all of the little snippets i sent to you, avery, make more sense now...
> 
> the galtean au is based on Spartona's fic "Stay strong, my atlas" (i dont know how to add links but its ok.) you should read it it's amazing!
> 
> hoping i can make this into a series with lances pov but we'll see what i have time for.
> 
> comment what you thought (if you want)!
> 
> (i tried to use like, two lines of spanish but if anyone has a better way to say it please let me know!)


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